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You can work for months and months of constant SEO and not get anywhere with search engine rankings.
If you run an ice cream truck business, what is one thing you would want that your opponent couldnt get to get ahead?
better ice cream?
faster trucks?
better locations?

NOOOOOOOO!
a hungry crowd. If your opposition only goes to neighborhoods that arent hungry for ice cream, and you do. you will win.

the key to getting massive traffic fast to your site is specificity. go to google right now, start typing something you heard on the news and look at how many results show up. now put it in quotes. and the results are low

these key phrases are going to be searched all day because people here them on the news, so what do you do? write an article throw in the key phrases and boom you take off. its pretty simple, with the right words

The internet is large, anything you write will probably never reach my CRT monitor. So let’s see how you can keep it that way. I dont want to read your garbage anyway.

1. Never use pictures in your articles.
I know the only program you have on your computer is MSPaint, maybe if you were lucky enough you downloaded Photoshop but that doesnt mean you know how to use it. Dont get me wrong theres some beautiful MSPaint artists. But I’d imagine your pictures are of your pet, your kids and of sunsets AND save them in bitmap format. who wants to see this? (I dont have children)

I own shamu

2. Don’t link to your articles.
Never put your website in forum signatures, use it as a reference to past observations, or host images on it. That’s telling people who you are and what you do. the internet is about anonymity, and getting away with harassing myspace girls. Where would we be if we couldn’t tell people dunkin donuts sucks.

3. Always demand intellectual obedience.
I am the only one that use this tactic and get away with it. If you disagree with me you are an oaf. I will ban you and your IP and then post anonymously on your blog that you a a hypochondriacal transexual, who’s goal in life is to get off to orphans eating icecream.

Since you are not me, when you ban someone and try to defame their character, they will really be the next Kevin Mitnick, who hacks google and makes everyones home page his favourite porno site.

4. Always rely on Adsense for funds.
Load up on the adsense technology. The internet is all about self profitability and entrepreneurialism right? I should get paid for everything I say.

Everyone loves pop-ups and massive ad bars. They fill up so much space so you appear to have more content than you actually do. Dont forget they are always so relevant to what the reader is looking for. Why wouldnt I want THAT ENLARGED while I’m looking to buy a present for my grandma?

HURRY UP!

5.  Don’t pay your hosting bill.
Broken links work like magic to sink your site. Just a being down for a day could ruin your reputation. If I dont want you to read this I just stop paying my bill, or overdraw my credit account by buying,

five hundred seventy-five billion EVOS

make that positive, and then call me

Whats more important in your mind? Being top on the google list, or having a strong, trustworthy network? I always hear google this google that, when in reality google does not have the largest stake for every keyword in the book (while they do have the largest stake in collecting personal data). Having a user friendly website with proper tags is the basis for being relevant in search engines. New content will complement your stake.

While having an amazing spot in the search engines is nice, its more important that you connect with actual people. As your client base grows, you’ll gain repeat customers that trust you, like you. Who doesnt have a connection with a “guy”. Whether it be your favorite car repair shop, lawyer friend, law enforcement officer, we all know someone that does something that you can find anywhere (unless you are my father who knows noone). But you go to him because he is your favorite. Be that “guy”.

Join communities for something that you love, and talk about what you do. People listen and remember. Not everyone will need your services now but they’ll remember later when their need for your services arises. Connect with people, be friendly, provide positive content that is relative to the community. If people get along with you, they’ll be that much more likely to choose your services over everyone else.